Uncertainty rolled over me like a dark cloud. My judgement seemed gone and wisdom in all sense of the word, just wasn’t there. Despair crept in making life seem endless and full of pain. In the dark night my heavy heart was restless as I thought about my life. I had waited for a job, for some of my plans to come to fruition but nothing. I prayed, prepared and went with expectation however, there always seemed to be a blocked path. As I prayed through every thought that came to mind heaven seemed silent. Dreams shatter at the unexpected events of my life turned. “Why did everyone else accomplish their plans and dreams but me?” I wondered desperately. Failure seemed to be my written label. As I wallowed in the mire like a spinning wheel of hurt my heart began to realize the sunken pit I had fallen in. True faith shines or dissipates in hardship. When the spiraling spirit gets out of control, I have to stop, remember who I am in Christ, and revel in His promises. Walking faithfully is choosing to believe in the goodness of God as He has revealed Himself in Scripture whether my feelings understand everything or not. Do I understand what God is trying to accomplish in my life? No. Am I always going to be in this season of life that seems to last forever? No. How can I walk faithfully in my thought life so I can discipline myself to think rightly during those times of disappointment and uncertainty? I have to rehearse a few things.
First, faith– the measure in which we see the intervention of God. I can’t always see His sovereign hand in the working of redemption’s story being played out on a daily basis, however, I can rely on His established character and promises, “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:12-13) God is at work!
The faith filled walk requires a heart set on the character of God, specifically His faithfulness in redeeming a sin sick soul. When faith is established in the work of the cross faithful service can be achieved. God works to refine through sorrow, trials and even blessings in life to grow His children into the remarkable people of faith God has purposed them become, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10) God has prepared works for you and I to do! No one can diminish His plan. Not even me in all my stumbling.
I have a hard time understanding God’s purpose for creating me at times. I often wonder if I took a wrong turn somewhere and if I am on the wrong road. However, I must remind myself that there is no road that Christ can’t redeem. Relying on God’s sovereignty is hard especially when I demand to be in control of my path. Being faithful in my walk isn’t a matter of self- filled satisfaction, “I can do it all” but rather relying on God’s grace continuously to be an anchor in the halo of problems that may surround the soul. So what will you tell future generations about your faith filled walk? I can assure you that though the path is long and hard you can say with Job, “But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)